Man, I sure do like the consistancy in TV censorship! Today for some reason I was watching The Man Show, which is a stinking piece of shit. Anyways, there's a part where some old fucker whose only talent is drinking a glass of beer in one gulp is getting frisky with a donky, and we are treated with a view of the donkey's erect penis. It's obviously just a long dildo, but was still tasteless and I would figure it would be mosaic-ed. But that's not my real problem. Later today Fatal Fury was on Sci-Fi channel, and there's a scene where there's a girl in a bikini, and when the camera shows her backside--IT'S BLURRED OUT! Aparently it's a-okay to show donkey cocks, but animated girls in thong binikis are a no-no! I think I'd rather see female ass over male penis anyday. Even funnier is that The Man Show was on in the afternoon, and Fatal Fury was shown in the middle of the night. Man, if a kid saw that dick, it'd fuck him up!

Well, there's nothing big going on with my life. Only the biggest change I'll ever go through: college. I sure hope college doesn't suck ass like high school did. I realize that HS sucked only because I made it. I didn't do anything. Seriously. I excelled in no classes, and didn't participate in anything outside of class. In elementary school, I was all over extracuricular activities. You name it: hockey, soccer, softball, baseball, even a little tennis and baseketball. And I was still the big fatass then that I am now.

My early childhood rocked. Even though I was an ugly fat bastard, I wasn't teased much. There was really only one time that I was actually beat up. Of course, that one time was really bad. These kids fucking threw me in a dumpster and pissed in it. A friend of mine, who was spared, had to get a neighbor to free me, as the lid on the dumpster was too heavy for us to open. I was amazed that no one in my family gave a damn. I wanted my parents to say, "How dare they! We'll sue the for all they got!" I wanted my older brother to beat their ass until they were blue... But all I got was an order to take a bath immediately.

Dispite that ugly event, I still think my childhood was good. I was well liked by everyone in my class. We were the smallest school in the city, so there were only like 60 people per grade, so everyone knew everyone. But damn did everything change come high school. I thought the people who pissed on me where just a rare exception, but when I got into the big junior high I realized that almost everyone was a fucking prick--even the teachers!

In 7th grade, when I still actually wanted to be active and participate in shit, I joined the football team. But it wasn't working for me. None of my equipment fit me, and the long practices made it tough on me with my asthma. My coaches said I was good, but I still quit before we even had our first game. But my coaches would haunt me yet. During one practice I had to piss real bad. When I asked the coach, he asked me to wait a while. Well, I tried, but I sure as hell wasn't going to piss my pants, so I asked another coach, and he said yes. The first coach found out that I went behind his back, and he yelled at me, and whatever, but didn't make a big deal out of it. Well, a few weeks after I quit, that coach visited a class I was in to talk to the teacher about something. When he noticed me, he just couldn't resist telling the entire class about my little story. I was humiliated. It was the first time I was ever publicly embarrassed. No doubt no one else remembers this, but it certainly taught me something: people sucked.