Shit, I'm depressed. And with just four more days till I move in, that's not good. Just a note: don't buy CD repair kits. They just make your CDs look worse, so save your money.

Ever since I was little, I was always breaking my older brother's stuff. I never meant to, but it always happened. I'd like a toy he got for Christmas, and it'd just fucking break whenever I played with it. Just bad luck. This trend, unfortunately, hasn't gone away with time.

During my brother's brief career as a college student, he owned the very expensive TI-92 graphing calculator. When he dropped out, he let me have it. It was funny using a huge QWERTY calculator for my pre-calc class, total overkill, but cool all the same. Anyways, I recently decided to buy the TI Graph Link so I could transfer shit between the calc and my PC easily. Well, when I got the link, and I went to get the calculator the LCD screen was shattered! I assume one of my nephews accidentally stepped on it, but either way, I was responsible for it. I've emailed my brother about it, I wonder how he'll react. TI wants me to pay fucking $100 to repair it, so I'll have to see how much Radio Shack wants.

In any case, it has really bummed me out. Why the fuck did someone else's $160 calculator have to break while it was in my possession? Oh well. In a week I'm sure my journal entries will either slow down or pick up. I'll have a lot more to write about, but will I have time?

Well, I just found an interesting webpage; Fat!SO?. Picture a gay or femenist activist page; except for fat people. There's an article about how insurance companies discrimenate against fat people. Well no shit Sherlock! It's a well known and accepted fact that insurance companies discriminate against age, race, gender, and anything else thay can think of. Although, I suppose the argument is that there's no reason to discriminate against fat people.

I suppose that the problem is that people look at fat people like they do drug addicts and alchoholics. You eat too much, so why not just stop? Well, that's just bullshit. I may be over weight, but I don't over eat. I like chocolate cake as much as the next person, but I don't eat one everyday. I don't know if I have a predisposition to being fat, or if it's just because of my lifestyle. Maybe a combination of the two? In any case, when people look at a fat person, they're disgusted. Why did that person become fat? Why doesn't he/she just diet? They're looked down upon as scum.

I think I've kinda accepted the fact that I am fat. There have been times in my life when I've been very active, and times when I haven't. But through it all, my weight has remained fairly steady. When I picture myself in the future, I don't really see myself loosing weight. I suppose I was fortunate growing up. I wasn't teased very much (in my opinion) about my weight. If someone didn't like me, sure they'd call me fat. But people always insult your most vulnerable weakness.

But I suppose that every time I go to the doctor I'll get hounded about my weight. Well, fuck you. I'm not gonna loose weight for some over paid doctor, and I'm not gonna loose it to get chicks. If I ever decided to make a true effort to loose weight, it will be for myself.