Aw crap. Crap, crap, and some more crap. I so regret how I'm doing college right now. I don't feel like typing some long history of my fucked up financial aid fun, but basically I'm gonna pay $10,000 for another year of high school. The U/Gov't kept fucking my financial aid application SO MANY TIMES that it's not even funny. I just now got the final statement, and I got nothing. No grants or anything, just the standard loan offers (which I'm taking the subsidised and unsubsidised loans...fuck that PARENT loan shit). I had thought that General College would be cool because I'd only have to transfer within the University, and everything would be peachy keen. But if I knew then that I'd have to pay so much for it I would've tried to transfer right away... But whats been done is done, and whining will do no good, I guess.

At the beginning of college I had predicted that me and John would continue to be friends unchanged, and that me and Adam probably wouldn't see much of each other. That has been true so far, but that may soon change. We've (me and Adam) been emailing each other lately, and I'm beginning to have a lot more respect for him. The atmosphere at his college seems very oppressive; even worse than high school. He says it's nothing but rich Abercrombie wearing kids. I was telling him that my university is much more diverse and has a lot more variety in the types of people who attend. He joked that he was the variety at his school. He seems to be there primarily because of his mother wanted him to go there, but he also seems to want to prove that someone other than an upper-middleclass snob can go there. He seems to be getting really tired of the religious rhetoric he has to endure, and has even expressed interest in trying to start an atheist organization at his school, although I doubt he could find enough people willing to join to bother. I don't know if I could take that that kind of school. High school was hard enough. I'm a little worried about him, though. I've never known him to drink, but now he's drinking all the time. He almost seemed proud of the fact that he did his homework drunk one time. Nice job.

Well, one of my sisters is getting married next year, and she made it clear that she didn't want me to have green hair then. She really didn't like it. I don't understand some of the strong reactions I get. It's not like I got a tattoo or a piercing, this is totally harmless. I'm ugly no matter what, I may as well have a little fun and control over my appearance. I thinking of getting a haircut and re-dying it. Although now that it's starting to fade a little it's kinda cool. In some areas it's dark green, but others it's fading into a greenish yellow. I like it. I guess I'll bleach it or dye it a 'natural' color for my sister's wedding. I don't take offense, I can understand why she doesn't want me with wild hair.